a message to you.

 i want what i do to mean something.  ever since i first met you i looked at you and your friends and thought "thats it, thats what i'm going to be like."  and even though im still just that little kid in the middle of that picture, and you're still the couple to my right, its different.  its not the same as i thought it would be, there's more of us now, its not just a trio.  we need more than just us three to be a real gang.

we used to talk about how beautiful it would be to have an impact on someone, for that day in 2006 when we saw this movie, and then sat in cafes discussing life, live on to be just like the summer of 1983 that we admired so much.  for someone in the future  to look at photographs of us, and the stuff we used to wear, and the way we look at each other, and just feel nostalgic without even knowing us.  to wish that they were alive on the brilliant summer's day that we spend inside stuffy bookshops, captured in poems and photographs.  i want them to wish that they had the relationships that we had, and that we formed with others over the time that we took to 'grow up'  another one of our friends told me that he was only in my life as a i needed him, and i think that this has somehow become true with all of you.  you were here in the worst months of my life, then dodged out, only to return again when everything got worse.  but you've disapeared, and im not sure if its because we're all grown up and too old to compare our lives to movies, or if we're really not supposed to be in eachothers lives right now.  i just know that i'll always be the tiny teenage kid who got adopted by a bunch of  ska "misfits" who were just as scared as i was.